Consumerism Commentary - Latest Comments in Question of the Day #15

Re: Question of the Day #15

bill — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 11:31:11 -0000

I remember when I was a teen, my mother helping me set up a passbook savings account at a local S & L. I developed the habit of putting a certain amount of my weekly check into it, a habit I still have today. I think the measure of financial security I have today is directly attributable to this.

Re: Question of the Day #15

Lazy Man and Money — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:37:26 -0000

I was taught very directly to save and ask myself if I really want to make that purchase, because it meant a sacrifice in something else that I may want down the line.

I also was included into the decision making about mutual funds because, even though I 14, I was better at math than my parents and they trusted me more with the numbers. This lead to me to invest in my own mutual funds, putting $50 a month away.

You could say that I've been very well brought with regard to finances.

Re: Question of the Day #15

SCapitalist — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 13:10:36 -0000

I have been interested in money from a young age. My parents had two contrasting views towards money. My mother was the "saver". Her advice was to save money, she is mostly a 401k investor. My father is horrible with money. Money seems to burn a hole in his pocket. In my later teen years seeing what he has built for himself, (or lack there of...) only motivated me to learn more about personal finance.

Re: Question of the Day #15

Lazy Man and Money — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 20:39:23 -0000

My mom had a subscription to Kiplinger's Finance and I would read it from cover to cover. We'd talk about things in it, and I'd even help her pick mutual funds. At the age of 13, I would say that I was ahead of my peers in this respect. It lead to me investing myself in some mutual funds in high school.

Re: Question of the Day #15

James — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 20:24:58 -0000

Buy good stuff. Take care of it and get every once of usage out of it (and then let it accumulate in the basament/garage/wherever). Pay your bills. Checks/Credit Cards are NOT money. Be generous, give to charity.

Re: Question of the Day #15

AM — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 17:17:18 -0000

I was born in a third world country in a lower middle class family (poor by any reasonabe western definition). I wore hand downs, read from hand down books, didn't have any allowance in my childhood, we didn't own a TV or any furniture till I was in high school etc.

My parents never made me feel poor though (thanks Mom, Dad!) and it was only when I was in my late teens that I figured out we were poor.

My education came indirectly though:

-Dad told me one day that if I didn't make it on my own, he can't help me with a penny.

-I saw my parents walk for a couple of miles with their grocery shopping in blazing sun so they could buy it cheap and save on cab money.

-Yet they saved enough to buy a house and make a good retirement.

Today my wife and I make more than enough to afford anything we can dream of an then spare some, but we save about 2/3rd of our income, invest like hell and spend on nothing which is not necessary.

Re: Question of the Day #15

Justine Kaley — Sun, 10 Sep 2006 05:06:41 -0000

I was taught no matter how much money you have several things come first Savings, Church, Charity nothing else matters but those three items. My mom was very dedicated to teaching us these three items she also was dedicated to teaching us to get more for our money, to buy items that you know will last, find the cheapest but the best products out there, to give, give, give never ask to recieve you will recieve when the time is right for you to recieve whatever it is your getting. Giving was also number one on her list.

Re: Question of the Day #15

John Wedding — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 02:08:58 -0000

1) Spend less than you earn.
2) Componding works wonders.
3) Pay your credit card balance in full each month.

Re: Question of the Day #15

Carlos — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 13:31:23 -0000

From my parents I learned:

Mother: One saves and doesn't spend on unnnecesary items. Most things classify as unnecesary, even food (I was anorexic for 30 years). Money saved will help some family member purchase home or start a business.

father: Money is the crime of a capitalist state and one needs it only if it will be applied for a higher end, such as helping children in need.

Today I get major guilt trips if I purchase anything personal, a problem I avoid with internet shopping and credit card. And since I don't intend on saving the world or saving money for someone else (am single no kids), will get many guilt trips on Amazon.

Re: Question of the Day #15

bridanp — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 23:25:13 -0000

When my Dad lost his job as a truck driver (during the trucking deregulation of the 1980's), I didn't learn so much a lesson about personal money management, but I did learn that I never, ever, ever wanted to be poor again. It was hard not having anything, and I doubt I'll ever forget. I haven't been without a job for more than a month since I was sixteen, so parts of that lesson are still sticking.

Re: Question of the Day #15

John — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 17:37:02 -0000

My mom and dad taught me that saving money was important by opening up a savings account for me. I remember that I got it up to $35.00 once. After that, I don't know what happened to it... probably it was liquidated and put into something else.

I remember that I would go to the bank and make deposits semi-regularly ... these were small deposits, but me and my dad would go to the bank teller and put the money I saved into the account.

Today, I still value money and am not wasteful in spending it. I'll think twice about making a purchase and not be frivoulous with the spending. I attribute this behaviour to the earlier lessons learned by my parents.

Thanks Mom & Dad!!

Re: Question of the Day #15

Kevin — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 13:49:51 -0000

The 2 people that really sat me down was my grandma and my dad.

My grandma taught me to never turn down money. This was taught to me after my grandpa had already paid me for mowing their yard and she tried to sweeten my reward.

My dad owns his own farm and I was an employee. He made me save/invest 50% of my earnings that were paid out before I went back to school in the fall and 50% would be my spending money the rest of the school year. At the time I was in junior high and high school so my monetary demands were not significant.

Re: Question of the Day #15

King of Debt — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 13:08:18 -0000

My parents really didn't provide any sort of education, but indirectly they taught me that it was okay to buy anything you wanted with no thought to the actual consequences of such rash purchases.

Re: Question of the Day #15

MsMiniducky — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 11:48:01 -0000

I learned how to forge checks, pay bills, work hard and not how to watch my spending or budget. Just kidding, I only mostly forged them, I usually left the dates blank.

I actually learned that debt and paying interest to other people is horrible and that I don't ever want to do that: from BroDucky.

From PadresDuckies, I have this curious blind spot of not having learned anything BAD in particular. Helping them financially now just reinforces the lessons I learned while BroDucky scorched-earth campaigned his way into every sort of debt possible, except educational. Figures.

Re: Question of the Day #15

fahren — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 11:31:46 -0000

Nothing. They fought like cats and dogs over money and to this day have never saved a dime. What little I know I've learned from books and advice from trusted friends.

Re: Question of the Day #15

Jason — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 09:00:14 -0000

So it turns out that if you put hyphens on either side of a phrase, you get a strikeout, -like this-. oops!

Re: Question of the Day #15

Jason — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 08:58:58 -0000

I think it goes back to my grandparents. They were both from upper-middle class families and were pretty well-to-do. My grandfather was born in 1900 and died before I got a chance to know him, but from what I can tell, he was a traditionalist. Men made and handled the money, and women didn't. My grandmother was born in 1914 and was in her teens and 20's during the great depression, so she had the frugality that came with that, but she also was a traditionalist in the sense that she considered talking about money to be "lower-class" and also thought that money was more the domain of the man. For both of them, money was something that was simply not discussed with children.

So my grandparents had a good financial background, were good at saving, made wise investments, and had more than enough to carry them comfortably through their retirement and still have something left to pass on. The problem was, they had 5 daughters and taught them NOTHING about money. My mom and aunts are all broke all the time, or claim to be. They all constantly worry about money. One married well (from a financial standpoint) but still worries about money because of her sisters. Two others have stable jobs that will provide a little for them in their retirement, but no savings. The other two have no savings at all and no way to retire, although they're at retirement age.

My mom's one of the last two. When I was growing up, she was constantly worried about money, felt that it controlled her, was always stressed. Today, she's making 68K a year and feels the same way, and still has almost nothing saved for retirement. She'll save a few thousand dollars, then find something so important that she has to have or do with that money that she'll blow it. She simply cannot live more than a few steps above zero, and she loves expensive things. If she gets ahead, she feels strange and finds a way to go back to a level of comforting stress. And guess what? I turned out the same way. Ten years since I first figured out that saving would be a good thing, I still can't make myself do it. Unlike her, I was able to get out of debt for a few years, but then I went back to school--a private school, of course, because it would have been financially prudent NOT to go to a private school--and now I'm deep in debt for my education.

There's light at the end of the tunnel--I've learned the value of saving and proper investing and I think once I'm out of school I'll have a knack for making money. I just have to focus on controlling my spending, learning delayed gratification, forcing myself to save first and spend later, and the other basics. I can recognize my bad behavior when it happens (something my mom and aunts haven't learned) and I'm financially literate. I just need to join (or start) a Spender's Anonymous group.

Re: Question of the Day #15

Paul Finkbeiner — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 05:20:09 -0000

I was the youngest of 4 boys. My father was a pastor of a small church in Idaho. My mother never bought any clothes new. We always shopped at the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Today I am writing this email wearing a pair of name brand pants I paid $1.00 for at a Senior's 2nd hand clothing center. I never pass a "Second Hand store" This is 65 years later!

Re: Question of the Day #15

empty spaces — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 05:09:15 -0000

my mom once made walk half a mile back to the store coz i had dropped a penny when I was 10. it wasn't that we needed the money, but i never lost any money ever again!

Re: Question of the Day #15

finance girl — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 23:22:47 -0000

I learned by watching my Dad's neuroses with regards to money. He never spent money on anything or anyone, to an extreme. He put money in front of people. But beyond that, I have always had a knack for financial numbers (since high school) and it just comes naturally to me. I had some hard lessons to learn but did so pretty early.

Re: Question of the Day #15

Cindy — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 22:16:07 -0000

Like many of the previous posters, I don't recall my parents ever having a conversation with me about money and financial management. As one of five kids, learning was more "trial by fire". Having grown up in an era before credit cards, McDonalds and technology, perhaps it was easier then to resist temptations. I do, however, recall a few key events that helped shape my current thinking toward money:

- For several years during grade school, my family qualified for free lunches (there is/was such a thing!). I distinctly remember feeling "poor", and not wanting to feel that way.

- We were given chores (e.g., cleaning, dishes, food prep) from an early age (7 or so), but no allowance. I think this helped me develop discipline.

- Growing up in a large and highly-competitive household, I learned that it was better to be in a position of "having" vs. "not having". Easy way for me to one-up my siblings.

- We were free to spend our lunch money however we chose (frequent alternate purchases included candy, ice cream and lip gloss), thus learning the all-important lesson of choice.

- When my 2-week old Christmas bike got stolen, my parents did not replace it.

- After I had saved up $100 of babysitting earnings, my parents matched it so I could fly across the country to visit relatives. This was a BIG DEAL because we didn't take family vacations.

Interestingly, even though we all grew up in the same household with the same parents and same life lessons, my siblings all have vastly different ways of dealing with their money. I still don't quite get that!

Re: Question of the Day #15

Jonathan — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 20:55:06 -0000

My parents taught mostly by giving us boundaries. I never got a Nintendo, and didn't get many luxuries. Now that they have more money they've loosened up a bit, but it's too late - I'm just a simple guy that doesn't even like most luxuries :)

Give me good simple food, a t-shirt, jeans, and a dog and I'm happy.

Re: Question of the Day #15

NCN — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 19:00:58 -0000

My parents locked me in a room, turned out the lights, and screamed for hours and hours about zero-percent balance transfers, home equity loans, while slashing my skin with the sharpened edges of their credit cards...
And thus, No Credit Needed was born, in the darkness, in the middle of the horrible screams, and through the pain of the plastic, cutting my flesh...

Just kidding...

My parents always gave us enough. We were blessed, but, like most families, we used credit too much, and too often. So, I had to learn, the hard way, about the dangers of debt.

Great, great question!

Re: Question of the Day #15

Miguel — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 18:43:10 -0000

Just want to say all the posts on this question have been extraordinarily insightful and fascinating to read.

By way of prologue to my earlier post, I described my childhood memories of money-related issues, but didn't have time to finish. As to the question of how has it factored into my life now, that is an interesting question to explore.

As a young adult from college thru late 20's, I got into a lot of typical credit card problems - too much consumption, too much keeping up with peers, too little income, too little understanding of how to handle my money. The upside was that I was willing to work hard - actually extremely hard - to earn money. I was ambitious, but took a few detours along the way (long story). I think part of what was driving all this were the lessons of childhood - that living hand to mouth is normal, that spending on expensive clothes, toys, etc. was just reward for hard work, and that CC debt was good because it allowed you to have things you wouldn't otherwise have. Basically, I was going nowhere fast when it came to money. The more I made, the faster I spent it.

Then it all kinda crashed and burned. An unexpected bout of unemployment taught me that having some emergency savings might not be a bad idea and showed me that CC companies can get downright nasty if they don't get paid. That at least provided a bit of a wake-up call.

And then I met my soon to be wife. Someone who had grown up under entirely different circumstances. Someone from a traditional, middle class, family, with a Dad who worked at a big corporation and a banker for a mom. She found my spending habits to be somewhat appalling and undertook a financial triage on my finances - and I was happy to let her do so. Sure, occaissionally, I'd throw a tantrum when I was informed there was something I could not have, but firm in her resolve to reform me, she was.

And her parents were such an wonderful example - people who could well afford certain things but simply did not see the need to keep up with the Jones. People who paid cash for big-ticket items like cars and even a condo. People who would go so far as to purchase a car without airconditioning just to save a few hundred bucks (okay this was going too far). This was a concept it took me a very long time to understand. To me, they were like aliens from outer space.

In time, my wife and I became a coordinated team. I'm very good at making the money. She's very good at saving the money.

While I didn't learn the things I needed to from childhood, I at least had the good sense to find somebody I could learn from. So, yes, things have turned out pretty good.

Re: Question of the Day #15

b. — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 16:21:03 -0000

eventho my mother weas/is good at frittering away $ regularly on 'sales' and 'good deals' etc, my parents saved really well. we lived like lower middle class i guess (never went anywhere far, nor on any real vacations, had inexpensive cars, only moved once in my childhood, etc) and that surely helped. i know they paid cash for things like vehicles and paid off the house as soon as they could. unfortunately, they didn't discuss the ins and outs of $ much at all, apart from complaining about what things costs and that 'we don't have $ for that"....etc etc. they never told us what their income was (only dad worked) and what things cost, like the mortgage, electricity. so there was still a lot of mystery about the whole thing. also, they always had their own ideas on how to do things and wouldn't take advice from anyone. i didn't understand how other family members lived so much better and how my parents were really set in their ways and ideas and closed to most other things.

i think positively, it affected me in that my part time 3 to 4 hr a week minimum wage job in high school enabled me to escape (all was not good on the home front; abuse). i saved most of my income and temped the summer after i turned 18 and managed to save $500 total which i used that september to move far, far away to san francisco by the seat of my pants (yes, it was a success). but you know what? most of this savings acheivement was simply from being unbelievably mostivated to exit that house and never look back. feelings i intensely had since extremely young.

negatively, i feel their own unrealisticness (which is not all explained here...) and not sharing of what actually was real (concrete figures of living costs for instance! how rationed out, percentages of what went to where etc) both made me a bit unrealistic i found in being able to get the things and security i still am trying to achieve, over a decade later. or feeling like i could. it's been elusive.
also, not having a degree i think has hampered me terribly in my earnings over the years. i have loads of experience and clear talents, but i find a double standard out there when i am trying to get better (or even sideways) positions. my parents never thought a degree was that important (neither had more than trade school) and they would not have helped anyway (not that i don't understand part of why, but not possible to type the whole story here). i have been in survival mode most of my adult life. yes, i do have an emergency fund these days and am grateful to be able to support myself.

one more thing, since the clothing budget was basically unrealistic (ex: in high school nearly impossible for me to get items in mother's price range, even on sale. my cousin's hand me downs were heaven sent when i was young, clothes i never would have had otherwise) i have strong urges to buy clothing i like and i feel i spend too much on clothes and accessories, impulsively i think. it's gotten harder to control since i got out of debt a few years ago. i am not sure if this is from the childhood environment or would have been my thing anyway....? but i can't help but think of that history.