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I'm in the beginning stages of planning a move to the tri-state area, but giving up my 2000 sqft condo in Houston where I only pay $750 (P&I) is definitely the most painful part.
To me "expensive rent" is the relation of purchase price to rental price - a low ratio in this case. Cheap rent would be a high ratio.
Also, if you think you want to stay in the same town for a long time, you need to know the cost of rent vs. the cost of buying. Even though San Jose is considered "expensive" to rent, it's actually really cheap to rent when compared to buying. So cheap, in fact, that it makes no sense at all to buy (especially since house prices are coming down).
I don't know what the situation is in all those other towns, but I would say that San Jose is a very FAVORABLE place to rent.
Manhattan, though, is simply insane.
I am not moving anywhere because right now I am paying much less than average rent in Tuscon, Arizona. That's one of the few good things in unversity towns. :)
Another thing to consider is quality of life. There is a reason that it's expensive to live in these towns. You pay for what you get. Unfortunately, we sometimes have to make tough decisions (roommates, less eating out, etc.) to enjoy the great city we've chosen to live in.
It's not fancy but I'm loving it. I think that as a single renter I'm right at the limit of what's reasonable. I know people who earn 6 digit salaries and live in studios, others have roommates into their 30's. If you don't own you cannot afford to throw money on rent!